Shahin Asmari

After six weeks of staying at home and trying to keep myself busy so as not to think of how crazy the world outside has turned out in such a short time, we were told that we could and actually should be going to work and say goodbye to home office, step by step, on shifts like twice a week for now until the situation betters. And so it was, my first day back at work, when nothing was the way it used to be. Avoiding public transport, I decided to walk the six kilometres to work just in case I would not be infected by the vicious virus. You know, people look at each other lately in a way as if everybody is infected and is the medium who carries millions of viruses and bestowing them upon the others. People have never been as weird as these days; they turn away when they see another approaching them, or they simply change direction; in worst cases when there is not enough time for them to shift their route, they will merely bend down and pretend that they are busy with their shoes. The poor old man I came across today had to tie up his laces, loosen them and tie them again three times because I came to a sudden stop as soon as he bent down to avoid me. Don’t get me wrong though, I am not mentally sick, I was just replying a message on my mobile phone and did not notice how that man was struggling to have me past by him.

Anyhow, it is nice to see humans again in the outside world though. I did miss looking at the people and imagining who they are, where they come from or what they do in their lives. I used to amuse myself to kill the time in that way whenever I went for a walk, or had to stand still on a train or a flight from point A to B. However, many wear masks these days, and hide themselves from you and the virus which is wandering around; therefore, you can’t simply realize who the person is or where he/she could come from.

In the office, things were different. We had no masks, and I knew everyone before; so, there is not much to be said about the office. Who is entertained by work, especially if their job is not the best they could get. So, let’s forget about the office, shall we? Except for the nice view we have over the lake of Alster from our meeting room, there is nothing in particular in the office which I would like to discuss or share with others. I’d rather tell you, my patient reader who might be the only one reading these lines, about my stroll back from work to home, when the walk was indeed much different than the morning.

Returning from work, I knew I had not much to do at home; I’ve had not much to do in quarantine except for cooking and cleaning up in addition to home office thing. So, I decided to take a longer route and walk alongside the beautiful Alster lake when the mesmerizing sunshine and the birds singing simply shut your mind off from your worries and struggles in your life. However, this was like no other walk I had had along the lake. I had been released form home after six weeks; I had not seen the nature for some time, except for the top of the trees which I could see from my window pane. Getting acquainted with the nature again was a blessing. I would have simply had my headphones on and got lost in the tune of the pop music in my ears if it was just simply another day, but it was a special day, a new chance, a new beginning, and indeed a new spring which had remained elusive for over a month.

I plugged off my earphones and let my ears be filled with the voice of the hummingbirds in the tress and the seagulls flying over the quiet water of the lake. On a typical sunny day like today, the lake would have been replete with ferries who take the tourists around, and kayaks and small yachts would have crowded the scene so much that you would have forgotten that you were beholding a waterway, but the only things visible today was the peaceful cobalt blue stream, crawling stealthily away as if it would have blushed if you saw it moving around. Above the lake, the chubby puffs of cloud were staining the pure blue April sky which could have been a wonderful time lapse, had someone took the time to shot it. Above all though, I was taken away with the light breeze mixed with droplets of water from the enormous fountain in the middle of the lake. I just noticed that the fountain was back in the middle of the lake after the cold season was over. Probably, some men were taken to work to set it up despite the virus out there. Wait, does the virus transfer through open water? Could the lake transfer the virus if somebody infected started coughing by the lake? I hope no one was infected for setting up the fountain over there. The last time I saw the lake before we were asked to go on home office, the lake was motionless because neither the fountain nor the Christmas tree was in the middle of the water. Alster looks dead that way. It was shiny today though, as if it was trying to persuade us that the nature has never been doing that well, being left lone to do what it may at its own will. The freshness in the air, and the super shiny horizon was merciless and a reminder of what we had been missing at home.

On my stroll, I came across a deserted bench. It would have been impossible to find it free on such a beautiful day last year, but you can find plenty of such seats if you just walk for a few minutes. I decided to sit there and let the nature in me. I sat and leaned back, letting my head hanging back from the seat, closing my eyes, I let the sun blind me with its rays and fill me up with Vitamin D. I’ve heard many people in Hamburg suffer from lack of Vitamin D and have to take pills instead. Damn it, this city gets cloudy very much. But today is all about sunshine and the loud silence of the humans. I hibernated a few moments like that and breathed in the water drops wafting by the air toward me, and let it cool me down after so much of boiling with rage. this surrender was a new feeling, a bond which had been broken long ago when human interaction took over everything and separated the nature from us. However, it is a date for me now, me and the lake and the swans who had been coming my way, seeing me sit there and chill. They have been used to seeing humans and being fed by them, and they have probably missed us the way we missed them. Above my head in the tree branches, a peculiar sound of a bird was heard. It was a parrot, not one actually, but a few of them, maybe a handful? What were parrots doing there? Have they been here before, or have they found a new home over here? Anything the answer is, it is a nice feeling seeing new beings around yourself.

But, where are all the humans? What has happened to the people? To those who would smile when they see you, come close and say hi, shake hand or give you a tight hug. I miss them, miss being approached by random people asking for directions, or the young who approach you and ask for a lighter, being disappointed that you are not a smoker. I would love to have had some flesh and bones beside me, whoever that could be, to tell me of their experience of being back outside, it could have been my worst enemy even. Do we have enemies now? Have they been infected by the virus? Do we still bear grudges and stick to the past and forget that the future is unforeseeably short and unpredictable? have we not learned enough of what we have gone through?

There are thousands of thoughts going round my head now, but these sounds coming from the outside penetrate my flow of thought and shot them dead. It’s Saturday night and despite the precautions and protocols for people, there are these drunk people who are shouting and singing a song which I neither have heard before nor want to hear again. Let the bark from the dog in the park interfere with their voices.

I shall end this entry because my thoughts are getting over disjointed and the effect of the booze is fading away…